How to Create a Shelter in Your Mind in the Storm

Your current storm may be family or work or politics or money or health, a slew of rejections on the writing front or an agent who has stopped returning your emails. It may be that you live in or near LA and if you do, my whole heart goes out to you. Frankly, I cannot imagine a more hellish scenario. If you don’t live there and want to help, here are some organizations collecting everything from diapers to food to money to clothes.

Whatever is besieging you, you also have to get through the days, the more mundane tasks that may seem futile and/or just impossible. We all live at least two lives simultaneously— the bigger umbrella Life (as an American or a person who needs to earn more or exercise more, for example) and the life that keeps on chugging with its need to pay bills and empty the dishwasher and water the plants.

I am gifted at fretting about the big picture and (mostly unsuccessfully) strategizing ways to avoid doom. I am less talented at remaining mindful and present, keeping my gaze on the deer in my yard or the beautiful sentence I just read. “Lovely!” I think, and return to churning about the demise of democracy. As we head deeper into winter, as we read news from LA and Washington DC, now is as good a time as any to remember how and where to find psychic shelter. Here are some ideas that don’t cost a lot or are free:

IRL. I will sing this from the heavens. We need to get ourselves off our computers and back in the room with each other. Social media seems as if its being coopted by nefarious bazillionaires and possibly stuffed full of bots. We can all agree that isolation breeds depression and loneliness. So: make a plan with a family member, an adult kid, a neighbor, a dog, anyone. Have coffee together. Go for a walk. It doesn’t need to be a big thing. Chances are this will boost your mood, as well as the mood of the person (or dog) you’re with.

Make New Art. I’ve been painting again. I suck at it— and I don’t say this as a way to garner comfort or praise. I’m not good, and my cheapo paints and canvases from Joanne’s Fabrics are far from professional level, but I love it because it gets me out of my head. It feels like play, messy, mindless/mindful play. I’ve been painting on very small canvasses this week:

Free Write. Find a little used corner of your house. Find that pretty old journal someone gave you years ago that you never used. Locate your favorite pen or pencil, and then write something unconnected to your current big project, whatever that may be. Write something that you will show to no one. Give yourself 5 or 10 or 15 minutes and find a good prompt and just go.

Meditate. I signed up for Headspace again. I’ve used it once since then, but dammit, it helps.

Move Your Body. Walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Dance to a good song. Be in your body. Take a bath. Clean something. Just move.

See a Movie in a Movie Theater. I really enjoyed A Complete Unknown (partly because it reminded me of my rather hippy-ish childhood going to Pete Seeger concerts). I didn’t love Wicked as much as the rest of the world did, but who cares? Whatever the movie, I love leaving my brain behind and being in a big, dark room, eating popcorn with strangers all around.

Cook Something New. What have you always wanted to try but never got around to cooking? Sometimes the idea of cooking something new is overwhelming to me, especially if loads of time and ingredients are involved, so I’ve set aside a good recipe for baba ghanoush and will add pomegranate seeds, as I had an insanely good Lebanese restaurant recently. This seems manageable.

Go to a Museum. This is another good way to get out of your head and the storm. I’m planning to see the Kafka exhibit at the Morgan Library the next time I’m in NY for a retreat with the HPE editors (we are all going). I enjoy going to museums off-hours, when the crowds aren’t so bad. So if you can, check out what’s on near you. Go on your own or with a friend.

Strengthen your Vagus Nerve. Here’s a quick video from the Cleveland Clinic with some good and easy suggestions for keeping stress at bay. It’ll seem obvious at first, but keep watching (it’s only about 3 minutes) for some good and specific little tidbits.

What works for you? What movies, easy recipes, music, anything else help you put aside the storm and regroup?